How to Build Confidence and Self-Esteem in Young Children

Helping young children build confidence and self-esteem is one of the most impactful contributions early childhood educators can make in shaping their futures. Confidence and self-esteem are critical to a child’s mental health and overall child development, laying the groundwork for their ability to face challenges, acquire new skills, and develop a strong sense of self-worth.

This blog will explore actionable strategies to foster a healthy self-image and instill a growth mindset in young learners, ensuring they have the tools needed to thrive both inside and outside the classroom.

Why Confidence and Self-Esteem Matter in Early Childhood

During the early years, children are forming their sense of self and beginning to understand their unique abilities and interests. A child’s self-esteem is deeply influenced by their interactions with caregivers, peers, and their environment. Having a healthy self-esteem allows young children to develop resilience, handle setbacks, and approach new challenges with enthusiasm.

Conversely, low self-esteem can result in feelings of inadequacy, reluctance to try new things, lack of trust in themselves and difficulties with social interactions. By fostering self-confidence in children, educators can empower young children to believe in their capabilities and nurture their emotional and social growth.

Recognizing the Signs of Low and High Self-Esteem

To effectively support a child’s confidence, educators must first understand the indicators of low and high self-esteem in younger children.

Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

• Reluctance to try new skills or activities
• Frequent self-criticism or negative self-talk
• Difficulty accepting praise or validation
• Hesitance in social situations or making friends
• Overly dependent on others for reassurance

Signs of High Self-Esteem:

• Willingness to explore new challenges
• Confidence in expressing opinions and emotions
• Persistence in the face of setbacks
• Positive self-talk and a sense of self-worth
• Comfort in engaging with peers and adults

Strategies for Building Confidence and Self-Esteem

1. Foster a Growth Mindset

Helping toddlers and preschoolers develop a growth mindset sets a strong foundation for embracing learning. Use simple, positive language to encourage them to see challenges as chances to grow. For example, if they are working on building a tower, praise their effort by saying, “Wow, you’re working so hard on that!” If the tower falls, emphasize the fun in trying again and discovering new ways to build it. Say something like, “Wow, it fell! What now?” This shifts the focus to the natural cause-and-effect of building and learning, rather than viewing the tower falling as a “failure” and gives the child opportunity to decide what to do next. 

2. Create a Supportive Environment

For toddlers and preschoolers, a nurturing and supportive environment is essential for building their self-esteem and fostering emotional growth. In these early years, children are just beginning to form their sense of self and develop an understanding of their place in the world. Creating an atmosphere where every child feels safe, accepted, and valued helps them thrive.

Celebrate the unique qualities each child brings to the group, whether it’s their creativity, kindness, or curiosity. Use simple affirmations like, “I love how you shared that toy with your friend!” or, “Wow, you worked so hard on that drawing—it’s so colourful!” These small moments of encouragement can make a big impact on their confidence.

Incorporate activities that celebrate diversity and teach children about inclusion, such as reading picture books about different cultures or exploring holidays from around the world. Emphasize that everyone is special in their own way and that differences make the group stronger.

To help children feel a sense of belonging, create consistent routines and include opportunities for them to contribute to the classroom. For example, assigning simple tasks like being the “line leader” or “helping hand” allows them to take pride in their roles. Validate their efforts and show them that their contributions matter with statements like, “You did such a great job helping with cleanup—it made the room look so nice for everyone!”

By providing affirmations and valuing their input, you create a positive environment where toddlers and preschoolers feel appreciated and develop the confidence to explore, learn, and grow.

3. Encourage Independence and Decision-Making

Allowing toddlers and preschoolers to make choices in their daily activities is an important step in building their self-confidence and fostering independence. At this stage, children are learning how to navigate their world and develop a sense of control over their environment. Simple decisions, such as choosing which book to read or selecting a colour for their craft project, empower them to make choices and develop autonomy.

Incorporate opportunities for choice throughout the day, even in routines. For instance, let them choose which activities they would like to engage in, and if they want to put their hat or mitts on first before going outside. These small decisions give children a sense of agency, helping them feel capable and confident in their abilities.

Remember to offer encouragement and support as they make choices, providing gentle guidance if needed, but always respecting their decisions. Phrases like, “Great choice picking that book! It looks like a fun story,” reinforce that their decisions are valued and trusted. As they practice making choices, they build trust in their own judgement and start to understand that they have the power to influence the world around them.

4. Praise Effort, Not Just Results

At this early stage, children are still learning how to approach challenges and understand the value of hard work. Praising effort rather than just the outcome helps build a positive sense of self-worth that goes beyond specific achievements. Instead of focusing solely on whether a puzzle was completed or a task was finished, recognize the effort they put into it.

For example, when a child is working through a task, like completing a puzzle or painting a picture, praise them for the effort they’ve shown. Say, “I’m so proud of how you picked up and connected those puzzle pieces,” or “Look at the beautiful colours you chose for your painting”. These words focus on the independent process of thinking, trying and problem-solving, rather than just the final result.

When children are praised for their effort, they’re more likely to approach future challenges with confidence and persistence. They begin to understand that learning comes from doing their best, not from always achieving perfection, which encourages a growth mindset and resilience in the face of challenges.

5. Teach Self-Compassion and Self-Love

Helping toddlers and preschoolers develop self-compassion and self-love is essential for building a positive self-image from an early age. In these formative years, children can be sensitive to their own mistakes and struggles, so teaching them to be kind to themselves when things don’t go as planned is crucial.

Introduce simple affirmations that help children combat negative self-talk and build a foundation of self-acceptance. Phrases like, “I can do it,” are easy for young children to understand and repeat. You can also model these behaviours by showing compassion toward yourself in front of them. For example, if you make a mistake, you might say, “It’s okay, I didn’t get it right this time, but I’ll try again, and that’s okay!”

Encourage children to treat themselves with kindness and empathy when they encounter challenges or feel frustrated. Let them know it’s okay to make mistakes and that they don’t need to be perfect to be loved or valued. “You did your best, and that’s what matters,” or “It’s okay to feel upset, I am really proud of how hard you are working” are powerful ways to reinforce self-compassion. Teaching young children to treat themselves with kindness lays the groundwork for emotional resilience and a healthy, positive relationship with themselves as they grow.

Practical Activities for Building Confidence

Use Scaffolding Techniques

Scaffolding is a core concept in early childhood education, where children’s learning is fostered through intentional guidance and encouragement. It refers to the practice of educators offering a temporary level of support to a child, tailoring their approach to match the child’s developmental level, and helping them accomplish tasks or acquire new skills.This support is tailored to the child’s developmental level and gradually removed as the child gains independence.

Effective scaffolding might include:

• Giving clear age-appropriate instructions
• Demonstrating a task intentionally, or unintentionally through modelling
• Asking open-ended questions
• Offering hints to guide problem-solving
• Providing encouragement to build confidence

Scaffolding helps children build confidence by guiding them through overcoming challenges and showing them new skills they are capable of mastering.

Promote Physical Activities

Physical activities play a crucial role in boosting a child’s confidence by allowing them to explore and expand their physical abilities. Engaging in child-led physical activities helps children step out of their comfort zone, learn new skills, and discover their strengths. These experiences not only enhance their physical coordination but also foster a sense of accomplishment as they overcome challenges and push their limits. Through movement, children gain a deeper understanding of their body’s capabilities, which in turn nurtures self-assurance and resilience in other areas of their development.

The Role of Caregivers and Educators

Early childhood educators serve as powerful role models, profoundly influencing a child’s confidence and self-esteem during these formative years. By exemplifying qualities such as confidence, patience, and resilience, educators teach children how to approach challenges with determination and optimism. For instance, when educators can model confidence and how to navigate setbacks calmly and constructively, it demonstrates that mistakes are not failures but valuable opportunities for growth. This approach encourages children to persevere and builds their belief in their ability to overcome obstacles.

Equally important is fostering a supportive and open line of communication. When educators listen attentively to children’s concerns and validate their feelings, it creates a foundation of trust and emotional security. Acknowledging their emotions, whether joy, frustration, or uncertainty, reassures children that their experiences and perspectives are important. For example, saying, “I see you’re feeling frustrated because the puzzle isn’t fitting together. Should we try it another way,” not only validates their feelings but also promotes problem-solving, decision-making and self-confidence.

By balancing emotional support with opportunities to learn from challenges, educators help children develop a strong sense of self-worth and the resilience needed to navigate the world with confidence. 

The Long-Term Benefits of Building Confidence in Young Children

Confident children are better equipped to thrive academically, form healthy relationships, and approach life with a positive and proactive mindset. They are more likely to take initiative, persevere through challenges, and adapt to new situations with resilience. By fostering confidence and self-esteem in young children, educators are laying a critical foundation for their long-term success, emotional well-being, and happiness.

It’s essential to understand that building confidence isn’t about protecting children from failure or hard times; rather, it’s about teaching them to view challenges as opportunities for growth. When children learn to embrace setbacks, reflect on their mistakes, and believe in their ability to overcome obstacles, they develop a growth mindset that supports their lifelong development and overall emotional health.

For more resources on early education and best practices, explore our collection of blogs and resources tailored to educators and parents alike.